By Stephen A. Mitchell

ISBN-10: 0393078485

ISBN-13: 9780393078480

Universal knowledge has it that love is fragile, yet prime psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't really reduce in long term relationships—it turns into more and more harmful. What we regard because the transience of affection is absolutely hazard administration. Mitchell exhibits that love can suffer, if basically we detect our self-destructive efforts to guard ourselves from its dangers. "Those who learn this ebook will love extra properly as a result of it."—Andrew Solomon, writer of The Noonday Demon "[A] paintings on romance that's wealthy and multi-layered."—Publishers Weekly "Cheerful, open, and humane—you'd certainly have sought after him as your analyst."—Judith Shulevitz, The long island Times publication overview "[T]houghtful, compassionate, and profoundly optimistic."—JoAnn Gutin, Salon.com

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Additional resources for Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time

Sample text

El mito del amor romántico Para servir con tanta eficacia como trampa que nos lleva hacia el matrimonio, la experiencia del enamoramiento probablemente conlleve como una de sus características Ja ilusión de que la experiencia durará para siempre. El mito del amor romántico nos dice, en efecto, que para cada muchacho existe en el mundo una joven «pensada para él», y viceversa. Además, el mito implica que hay sólo un hombre destinado para cada mujer y sólo una mujer para cada hombre, lo cual está predeterminado «por los astros».

Si pretendo apreciar el carácter único de cualquier dato, debo tener suficiente conciencia de mis prejuicios y de mis deformaciones emocionales características para ponerlas entre paréntesis el tiempo necesario, con el fin de recibir lo extraño y -72 lo nuevo en mi mundo perceptivo. Esta disciplina de poner entre paréntesis, de compensar o de acallar exige un conocimiento profundo de uno mismo y una valiente sinceridad. Sin esta disciplina, cada momento presente es sólo la repetición de algo ya visto o experimentado.

Sus efectos más dramáticos se manifiestan en el individuo que intenta suicidarse, amenaza con hacerlo o es presa de una profunda depresión porque el cónyuge o amante lo rechazó o se separó de él. Esa persona dirá: «No quiero vivir, no puedo vivir sin mi marido (mi mujer, mi amiga, mi amigo). Lo quiero muchísimo». Cuando yo respondo, como frecuentemente hago: «Está usted en un error, usted no quiere a esa persona», me replican con ira: «¿Cómo? Ya le he dicho que no puedo vivir sin él (o sin ella)».

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Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time by Stephen A. Mitchell


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